What Can a Divorce Coach do for Me?
Updated: Jun 8, 2022
Divorce, is hard at the best of times, with two healthy partners, who truly want what’s best for their children. It becomes that much harder with a high conflict partner, a person who ramps up conflict and feeds off the stress and chaos.
My role as a divorce coach, is to help you EMPOWER yourself, to become clear as to what you want and need, to help you become articulate about these needs and wants and about your desired outcome, so that you continuously show up as your best, most reasonable, rational, unemotional self when dealing with every professional during your divorce journey.
There is nothing that wastes more time and money, than a person who is stuck in the emotions of divorce and is unable to focus on the business of divorce, especially when you are dealing with a partner who thrives off chaos and conflict and actively creates this very stress and chaos.
While you cannot control your partner, you can most definitely learn to control your emotions, your reactions, your actions, your responses, and your behaviour. This is where your power lies, and this is one of the ways I support you.
Divorce is like building a house. It’s messy, it’s overwhelming, it‘a stressful, and it can cost more money than projected, and take longer than anticipated. You would never take on this monumental task alone without expert support. To do so would be a recipe for disaster. So you hire a team to help get you into your home with as little stress as possible, and as on time and on budget as possible.
I help you realize your role as general contractor in your own divorce, as nobody will be as affected by this divorce as you will be. This might seem like a daunting task, but that’s why I’m here. I want you to realize your own power and strength, and courage, and tenacity, which may all be lying dormant deep down within you, especially after a relationship with an abusive person.
A divorce coach should be your first hire.
A divorce coach helps you:
•strategize •hire vetted professionals •stay focused on the business of divorce •stay future focused •remain clear and articulate
•manage all the BIG emotions that come out to play during divorce
As a divorce coach who specializes in high conflict divorces, my role extends even further.
👉🏼 I not only do all of the aforementioned, but I also help you create firm boundaries and learn to enforce them, even when dealing with a HCP. This is the most critical area you have to master in order to build back a better life after divorce. Your peace and independence depends on this key piece.
👉🏼I help you learn to communicate effectively with your HCP, so that you minimize your engagement, stop the circular conversations, and minimize your stress, anxiety, and triggers around these conversations. I help you empower yourself via communication, which is the most rewarding milestone ever and one that will serve you throughout your coparenting relationship.
👉🏼On the topic of coparenting, if you’re dealing with a high conflict ex, a narcissist, an abuser, you will not be able to coparent, as this very premise is based on two parents working together to be flexible, respectful, and actively engaged in always doing what is in your children‘s best interest. This is an impossible task with a HCP. So I help you understand the benefits and the ins and outs of parallel parenting, so that you can create the peaceful home life you and your children deserve.
👉🏼Depending on where you are in your journey, I also help educate you on narcissism and sociopathy, so that you understand why your ex behaves the way they do, so that you can then act and react in ways that minimize your conflict and maximize your peace.
👉🏼I am also certified to help you prepare for mediation so that you can show up as educated as to what the entire process looks like, what your rights are, how to hire a mediator, and how to manage your emotions, how to communicate your needs and wants and learn to manage your ex and their triggers, so that you can leave feeling empowered, confident, and knowing what your non-negotiables are, and what you’re willing to walk away from. While court may be required down the road, mediation allows you the greatest level of control over your outcome, if you’re prepared for it (that’s why I’m here🙋🏽♀️) unlike court which is completely up to who your judge is and how you and your ex present. Way too many unknown variables. Plus, mediation saves you time and a whole lot of money. While court will cost you more than most can budget for, and will very rarely, if ever, afford you emotional justice.
👉🏼One critical piece I can help you with, is crafting an air-tight parenting plan. It needs to be as concrete and specific as possible, as high conflict people will find wiggle room in anything that is not in writing and whatever is not specific and poke holes in anything unclear. This will save you time and money down the road.
I will be your biggest cheerleader, and your most valuable support during this stressful time. I want you to reawaken all the traits that have been quashed during your relationship with your partner, so that you become fully empowered in every aspect of your life, and can really start to thrive, and not merely survive. My goal is to save your sanity, save you time, and save you money, so that you move through this process as quickly as possible and start building the life you want, need, and deserve.
You may start this process feeling depleted, defeated, overwhelmed, anxious, disenfranchised, stressed, and uncertain as to HOW you will manage to get through this, and WHAT your future will look like. I help you realize that you will get through this and you will build back better.
And that is the most powerful and rewarding experience ever.
You work through your fear and realize that you are far more capable than you ever gave yourself credit for.
The best time to hire a divorce coach is before you start the separation process. The second best time, is anytime after, during the process.